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Jimmy bathes with his eyes closed, his long dark hair clinging to the ceramic edges of the tub. He sets the radio to KSZU FM, a jazz station-real jazz, not that new stuff-and after stripping naked, sinks into the bath with a heavy sigh, enjoying the swirls of steam that fill the room.
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At exactly 10:35 p.m., after the evening news is done, he runs hot water until the tub is three-quarters full and adds a capful of musky bath oil. It’s a ritual he has perfected over the years. They hardly pay him any mind at all.Įvery night, Jimmy Nolan takes a bath.
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Broads, they take one look at Jimmy Nolan’s hands and decide that hands so fine would crumble inside their bodies. In Jimmy’s experience, the women in his life often find someone who can take his place. She couldn’t get enough of Jimmy’s middle finger until, of course, she met someone who was happy to take Jimmy’s place. Marissa’s favorite thing was for Jimmy to lie next to her in bed, gently sucking one nipple while he stroked her clit with his middle finger in small, fast circles until the pleasure was so sharp and intense that it hurt. Women like Marissa coo and fuss over them they yearn for Jimmy’s lovely hands to toy with their tender bits. Jimmy long ago decided his hands were the bane of his existence. Each day, when she sees Jimmy Nolan, Greta is grateful to see the kind of man she knows nothing about. Knowing so much about men is exhausting for Greta. She knows that their hands and their minds wander and that they will say most anything to get into the pants of a broad like her. Greta doesn’t claim to know much, but she knows men. Greta is charmed by Jimmy’s manners and his demeanor, and how, even when he only comes in for coffee and a danish, he still takes the time to use his napkin properly.
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It is this habit of placing his napkin on his lap that first got the attention of Greta, a waitress, a broad among broads, at his favorite diner.
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Then there are his hands-slender, almost delicate hands that are finely veined, the skin stretched smoothly over bone without blemish.
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He opens doors and covers his lap with a napkin at dinner, never interrupts a conversation, and always says please and thank you. And, unfortunately for Jimmy, he’s a nice guy. His problem, however, is that he models himself after caricatures of who he thinks broads like. He likes his steak rare, enjoys a cold Budweiser, and has a hearty laugh that echoes in any room. Jimmy Nolan would like to think he is the kind of guy broads go for. She says Jimmy isn’t the kind of guy broads go for and, more than once during the course of their three-year relationship, she turned up her nose when Jimmy ogled a broad passing by. Jimmy’s ex-girlfriend Marissa was the antithesis of a broad-pale, thin, precise, and polite with a watery voice and weak handshake. He’s not quite sure if this is the result of geography, circumstance, or personal limitation. Jimmy Nolan has a hard time meeting broads. Jimmy Nolan has a thing for broads-loud, brassy women who sit with their legs open and drink beer straight from the bottle-women who always say exactly what they’re thinking and, for better or worse, mean what they say.